Updated: Oct 1, 2019
I don't think I would ever have started my own business if it wasn't for Kriss Akabusi.
Picture the scene, it is an overcast day in beautiful Naples, I'm doing my ironing and listening to random podcasts. Since arriving in Italy with my family in tow, I have been taking time to settle in and find my feet. I am happy but not quite content. Something doesn't feel right. I appreciate that transition takes time and I’m making effort to embed into my new life.
I knew I needed some clear direction in life, I missed working as a team and I missed working with clients and helping them create the business that they always wanted. I missed the Financial Planning, the deadline, the logistics. I missed constantly learning and being ENGAGED! But I knew that I couldn’t have carried on living the life that I was, on balance, it wasn’t right for me and my family.
Conscious choice had led us to Italy and now it was time to make another choice, what did I need to do to make this new environment work for me and my family. I suppose, up until this moment in life I've always been too scared to start my own business. I told myself, ‘That is something for other people’, 'that requires too much work away from family’ and instead I lived my entrepreneurial dreams through my clients. I had every excuse in the book but the real hard truth I was scared.
I was scared that people would judge me harshly.
I was scared that people would think that I was a fraud.
I was scared that it would all fail and people would laugh at me.
Effectively I was stopping my true life progression in the fear of other people's opinions of me. What a wasted life that could have been?!
Thankfully, I stumbled upon Kriss Akabusi.
As I stood ironing my families clothes, pondering my new life and the options I had before me to make it really work, I was listening in as Kriss told me about his life. He came from nothing but he worked hard and he kept pushing forward to achieve his goals. He told me things I've heard 1000 times before, the steps that actually work when you want to move forward in life. But he put it across in a way that I finally heard what was being said. He connected with me on my wavelength, and he said a sentence that really resonated with me.
‘in 50 years time I will be dead and nobody will remember what I have done so why do I concern myself with their opinions now.’
It was like a bolt of lightning hit me full force between the eyes. One day I will be dead. Nobody will care about what I did or didn’t do with my life. They will be dead too, and they won't have thought for one second past the remark or reaction that they made. I will be making my life decisions off the back of a throw away comment from a stranger I will never know. Strange you may think that this had such a profound impact on me. But it just made me truly see, for the first time that I had been limiting myself. Limiting the life I lead. Limiting the lives my children will have. All because somebody for one second may not like what I do or how I do it. Then I will die and never again be able to live the life that I know it can be.
Basically up until that point I was willing to give up on my big dreams for the sake of my ego. Ego is often not your friend. Ego is concerned with people's opinions and perceptions. Ego wants to look good or fade into the wallpaper. Ego wants to make sure you tow the line.
Immediately I re-framed my view on what I REALLY wanted to achieve. I saw new avenues opening before me. I felt excited that my next choice was unfolding in front of me. I saw an opportunity to look at what works for myself and the family on a deep level. I decided to stop listening to my ego.
Listening to that podcast on a mucky, nondescript day in Naples woke me up and reminded me that every time I tell myself 'no', that something won't work, or is not achievable then there is a good idea that ego is speaking, therefore I need to take time to logically work through the options, holding awareness of the mind traps that the ego pushes us into.
Thank you Kriss Akabusi for telling your story so beautifully, and showing me how to really see.